There is plenty about modern football to get people’s backs up, ridiculous wages, expensive tickets and the sanitised safety of identikit stadiums for a start.
Another such irritant is the type of people that now make up large swathes of the football going public each week. The Arsenal ‘Away Boyz’ and their legions of fans in N7 represent everything that is wrong with these people – the modern Premier League football fans.
For those who are unfamiliar with their work, they are a band made up of Arsenal fans who play raucous gigs in and around the Highbury and Islington area when Arsenal play at home. In their replica shirts and ripped Topman jeans they reduce the art of creating songs for the terraces from contemporary popular music into a banal form of football karaoke, reworking the hits of bland, middle of the road, stadium rock acts that share their lack of personality.
Furthermore ,when not playing to their adoring fans before and after home games they also organise mental away trips. Whilst the idea of grown men in football shirts, dancing like morons to an awful rehash of an awful Kings of Leon record makes me want to simultaneously stab myself in both my eyes and ears, no scenic boat trip down the river from Westminster to Craven Cottage is complete without a rendition of ‘Cesc on Fire’, apparently.
The Away Boyz are the type of fans that Sky Sports love, they love ‘banter’, they have nicknames on the back of their shirts and turn up at away games in fancy dress, the bloody lunatics even spell boys with a z. They’ll be sure to have the red and white face paint at the ready if Arsenal ever play at Wembley again.
These are the people who ironically cheer Eboue, the people that hilariously call Chelsea ‘Chavski’ and the world’s best left back ‘Cashley’. They are the antithesis of what everything which football should be about, the personification of the jester hat. They are berks.
I hope their next boat trip to Fulham sinks.
By Callum West